Cosmic Cajun Universal Seasoning

The Story of the Cosmic Cajun

Chapter Un...  Da Begin

Well how should I told you the fantastical, magical story of the Cosmic Cajun. Me I know its the mos fantastical and magical story I ever heard abot and for sure its the mos fantastical and magical story that ever been happen down on the bayur and may be in the whole complete world. I tink I might start mos at the begin when the Cosmic Cajun he was hatch and had to dug and clime his self out of a big nasty pile of swamp grass, lilly pads, swamp mud, marshmuck, leafs twigs and some of the funkyest smellin grais du you ever was smelt in you life, I want to told ya. Dis big pile of swamp muck was hasemble by his momma herself on the bank of a lonley little bayou in Louisiana about 2 months before. When I tink a little more abot it, it was mos like his momma dishasemle every ting around her to cover up dem eggs she just laid out.



After a little while he was hatch from about a three inch lethery skin egg what was bury abot 2 foots under all dat swamp debrit, wif about 37 or 35 of his baby brudder eggs. If you aint guess by now the Cosmic Cajun is a hallimagator. You know that dem halligator is some funny critter when it come to makin little hallimagators. Dem little hallimagators is layin around in dem little leather eggs and they dont got the frist idea what dey is. Dat is to say dey dont know what if they gonning be a boy or a girl hallimagator. Well its a little more complicate than what i just tol you. You see, they is all brudders unless that big ole pile of swamp stuff get to a certian temperature dogree, din all of dem brudders can become all female sister relations. Whoo Wee!, may i'm happy i'm a peoples and not a hallimagator.



So me i tink I'm going to jump ahead of my self in dis story cause nottin much happen in the nex ten year except fo theb fac that the Cosmic Cajun manage to kept his self from being ettin by one of dem big ole halligators what live on the bayur or them big ole cajun peoples, what is known mos for da fac dat dey eat mos anyting what was dont eat dem firs. and them other swamp and marsh critter also too, that believe little hallimagators make a nice snack. Now dat I tink abot dat , dat was quite an accompliment. (this word is a combination of a compliment and an accomplishment)



Now, we is in the year 2002, and the Cosmic Cajun was a 6 feets. teen age hallimagator. Oh, by the way he anit called the Cosmic Cajun yet, he anit got no name, and as a matta o fact none of the halligators on the boyau got a name. He had been pretty much on his own since he come out the egg. Thats a lot of responcibility for a little hallimagator. He was pretty cagy tho, and managed to do pretty good for hisself, but times was hard and down the bayur food was scarce so he was kinda boney and scroni.



Now our young hallimagator is livin on the same bayur he was hatached on. Now I said it was a lonley bayou in fact it was as close to no whare as noware else. It was so lonley that the Cajun peoples down dare call it "Bayou Self."



That is to say bayur Self is not complete with out notin dare. Dare was plenty of critter a sides from dem gators, dare was turtle, possums, raccoons some deers some owls, squirrl and lapan(dat mean Rabbit in Cajun) and plenty of diffrent kind of canard dat is duck in cajun french and dont forgot them pulldue too. Dare was some hegrets, shegrets and lots of kind of bird. Oh an dem snakes also too. Mos all them swamp critter pays some tension to ware dem tings is hangin out. Dis is not to mention, that dares quite a few of dem cajun peoples live down on dat bayur.



Dare is a little narra road wat is made from ole oyster shell, that come off the main highway and run down all the way to the bayur. Man, you know i can't imagine me how many shell dare is to make dat road cuse its abot 5 miles down to the bayur. Dem cajun peoples mus love dem some oyster too much, Whoo Wee! Theres one thing you need to know about da road.If you drivin down the road you had better pay some tension, because the end of that road come up fas, mos especial if you going fas,fas,fas,.( Cajun peoples say every ting tree time when dey is trying to make a point) Also too they aint no sign pose at de end of the road. The road dump it self right in the bayur, so if you distractioned you might pass you self right into the bayur, and wine up a late nite snak for one of dem great big hallimagator dat live in dat boyau also too.



Now some of dem Cajun peoples was livin on the bayur before they put the road, but mos was move down after de road was put in order to make a livin from the ting dare was ,to hunt,catch,trap,pick out da trees.pick off the ground and pull out the bayur. Dare was abot 12 or 14 little cypress houses. All of dem had front and bac porches,tin rooves wif stove pipe poken up which was connect to dem wood stove and a fire place chimney. Dey had sutters to keep out the rain,wind and critters out and screens to keep out them giant swamp muskeeters. Them muskeeters is so big and mean and tirsty also too, that dem cajun peoples say dey make you legs wobbly when dey bite. Dey had cistern made like a big cypress wiskey barrel wif a gutter pipe dat run from off the roof into the top of the barrel so dey catch the rain water for drikin and cookin. Heatin up boyau water was good enough for bathin an mos other ting. Dey also had a little house dat was used well you know what it was used for. It was set back down a little trail far enough from the house to keep the wind blowing dem aready used food smells back to the house and ruining your whole attitude.





Chapter Deiu...  Tante Bet



Well as I was saying dere is about 12 or 14 houses on the bayur. Dere was, lets see as far as peoples, a few Badeaux's, some Robashoux's, and abot 27 or 25 of dem Carmadelle's. Mos of the peoples was named Carmadelle cus dey was a lot more of dem. Mos all the folks was make a livin on the bayur. Alcid Carmadelle make his livin fishin in the bayur. He was runnin trot line across the bayur and catchin dem big blue catfish. A trot line is a long fish line wit beau coup hooks (dat means a lot of hooks) dat dey ties to a tree on the bank of the bayur and den runs it all the way across the bayur to the other side den ties it to anotter tree also too. On the middle of the line dey puts somthin heavy like a window sash weight or an ole car tire rim, or some thin. Dat pulls the line down to the bottom of da bayur,where dem big catfishes live, and lets the other boats pass also too, wit out runnin into the line, and makin a pin cussion out dey self. Das a good ting.



Ti Joe (his name is Cajun for Little Joe) he made him a livin from cuttin dem cypress tree to use for buildin lumber. He also drug some big ole sunk logs out the bayur. Dats the ones dey used to make pirogues( Dats a cajun boat.) Dey take dis log and dug out the wood in da middle ,den carve off every piece of wood on the outside of the log dat dont look like a boat. Dey call ita dugout perogue. Its small ,narrow boat usual only one man can use. Its bulied kinda like a canoe wit a point on both ends, but its mo flat on da bottom. The bottom is flat so that deh cajun can stan up and use a push pole ( dats a long wood pole abot 9 or 8 feets long wit a kina triangle peice of wood at the end, the Cajuns use dat to push theyselves along in the swamp and pass in between dem narrow spots) in dem shallow spots in the bayur, and slide over dem logs ans snag dats all over the swamp also too. Ti Joe was also a fine duck decoy carver . He made dem from cypress root he cut in the swamp.His decoys was da bes around.

He make hissef a little money sellin dem decoy up the bayur to dem fancy folks what come down the bayur from up the road to hunt dem duck.



Now it seems that every body on the bayur was good at doin somethin and they all was made a pretty good livin. Dey also had plenty time to hunt and fish not only cause it was fun but das how they fed der family. You know dere only one thing a Cajun peoples like more than huntin and fishin. No it aint dancin. But dancin is high up on the list also too. Its eatin. That rite eatin and thats not just eatin often or a lot its eatin good,good,good.



You see thats what dis fantastical story is all abot dat is eatin good and how the the mos famos resident of Bayou Self the Cosmic Cajun, helped people up the shell road,all over the world and may threwout the entire universe (wait you gonna under stood soon as I told some more story) to discover a whole new way to appreceate at the food dey eats.



Remember that i was told you dat every body on the bayur was good at somethin, well I was talkinn about peoples not hallimagators. The Cosmic Cajun was depressed cus he didnt tink he was good at nottin. as amatta o fact he didnt tink much of hisself, and didnt tink he was goin to grow up to be a big fat ole happy hallimagator. He jut believed he was going to stay da mos scroni, bony, under fed ,undernurrish,under weigh ,under develope,'undernoticed under appreciated, under loved hallimagator on Bayur Self.



Now we has reached the part of the story where i gonna toll you how dis little scroni halligmagator wif no name become the Cosmic Cajun.



Its seems that one of dem female lady Cajun peoples was name Miss Betsy Carmadelle, mos every body call her Tante(Aunt) Bet cus she was the aunt of abot 17 or 19 of dem Carmadelle chilrin dat live on the bayur. Tante Bet was in her 50 ies. She was just a little on the plum side, not fat, fat ,fat, and not boney, but kinda healty lookin. She had dem big ole brown cow eyes, which her Sears an Roebuck magnification spectacle glasses made look bigger dan dey was. She wore her hairs in a big plie on the top of her head and dey was stuck together wif some stick pins what she got a Sears Roebucks also too. Her hairs were so long that she mos had to make um in a pile or she might be steppin and tripin on um. She was not beautimus, by some peoples standards but she was nice lookin and she was kind,kind,kind hearted, on the inside you know wat I mean which I tink dat reflectioned on her outside. She was her one of the mos nice lady peoples on the Bayur. And I want to told you she was good at somthin also too, Tante Bet was de bes cook on the Boyau Self, Whoo Wee, dat Cajun Lady peoples could cook some good food mmmmmmmummmmm May sase bon. She mos famos for dat too. Even peoples dat live up the bayur.and up the shell road, has heard of Tante Bet's cookin. everybody say she could make anyting taz better than its pos to taz. Peoples say she could cook a cypress board and make it tas so good you gonna eat it and use the splinters for a tooth pic. Da peoples would say Tante Bet, may how you learn to cook good like dat. And Tante Bet says caus I payed some tension to my granemare and my moma. Dey taught me cookin was the same as love. If you put your love into your cookin every body goona feel good about it, and dey gonna be happy. I beleif dat cookin is more dan jus trowing some tings in a pot an and bolin dem down. Its mos important to tink abot what you makin why you makin it and who you was makin it for and you got to put some real flavor on dat and das the love I done toll you about. Some people takes the food dey eats fo granite, dey just eats and eats and they dont tink about it mos at all. But, mon Deiu put in dis place and give us all dis wondermos thig to henjoy and He spec to use them the rite way. He heckspec us to be smart about what we eats, and how much we eats and appreceate and be gratefull for what ever we got. It helps also too to have a garden wif fresh vegatable. And, me I got dis secret spice i been usin fo 30 years,what I made from some ting I groed in my gardin, I use it on mos every tin I cook. Den the peoples would say ""really tante, is dat true". Wats in dat. Yar, its true, shed say. I'd like to toll you wats in dat spice, but I cant toll you whats in it cus its a secret,and peoples cant keep no secret. One of dese days I gonna let the peoples knows abot it so dey can share some Cajun love wif dey own famlies.



Chapter Twa...  Da Transformation

The story continues...